Introductory Costs

A lot of things happened following the birth of my twins, Adam and Adora.

One notable event (that I didn't notice until the next day) was that I lost my wedding ring.

While my wife was recovering from her cesarean I led the new grandparents into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to see their freshly-minted grandchildren. I was still wearing stylish periwinkle blue paper scrubs (with matching hairnet) from the surgery, and I was feeling the part of the proud (cautiously optimistic) father.

The nurse escorting us to the NICU took us to the washing station and gave us the rundown: Take off all jewelry, take off all bags & purses, wash up to your elbow for 3 minutes.

Side note: I don't know if you've ever tried washing your arms for three whole minutes. You run out of fresh new crevasses to soap after the first 30 seconds. You're left scrubbing yourself like an OCD recluse who just touched a bathroom door at a truck stop.

I can FEEL the dirt, it's hiding just beneath my skin....

I tossed my ring into the scrubs breast-pocket, washed and went to meet my kids.

Later on, a nurse told me I didn't have to wear my scrubs anymore, so I stripped off my paper shell and tossed them on a nearby couch along with my ring. I haven't seen it since.

Imagine this, but in a trash compactor

Flash back to August 13th, 2006. Marlena and I first met at a movie theater to watch "Talladega Nights: the Ballad of Ricky Bobby" (I think the movie successfully lowered her standards). During the movie showing, my phone fell out of my pocket and was lost forever. I often joke that the "karmic cost" of meeting my future wife was that I had to lose my phone.

So now I say that the cost of meeting my children was my wedding ring. The ring had more sentimental value than anything else, but I'd gladly pay it to meet my kids.

Diary of the Dad

I posted this on my gaming blog last Sunday, just so you know where I'm actually at.

In the original cut, Leia gives Luke a wet willie

So... funny story,

My wife and I went in for a standard prenatal visit Thursday afternoon. When they check her blood pressure it was high, and when they gave her a little test to find out if she was passing protein, she was.

These two tests together meant that she might have preeclampsia, a disorder that means that the stress the pregnancy is putting on her body was affecting her kidneys and possibly more organs. One ultrasound, a battery of tests, and a lot of waiting later, my wife was put in an ambulance and sent South to a hospital that was capable of handling emergency births (I posted "Change is Coming" during the long wait ). Before we left, we were told that we might be having kids that night. We were in a bit of shock.

Keep in mind, these kids aren't expected until March, so we didn't have the house clean, the cribs or cradles in the house, or have the nursery set up (read: "we were S.O.L.").

What do you mean you weren't ready? You had eight friggin' months

We got to the better hospital around 11pm and had our fears put to rest: we weren't going to be having babies Thursday night.

Instead, they were delivered Saturday. Two healthy babies, one little boy (3lbs 10oz, 15 3/4") and one little girl (3lbs 3oz, 16 1/4"). Let's call them Adam and Adora.

I think I've found this year's Christmas card

Since birth they've been flourishing in a great Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, and have had some great caregivers and nurses looking after them. Adam has been a premature baby rockstar. After a single day of life he no longer needs any breathing assistance and has been amazingly stable. He's also been gnawing non-stop on his pacifier which is a great sign of his being ready to feed unassisted.

Adora has had a harder time since her arrival. She had a tighter fit during her time in the ovarian prison, and has bruises on her feet and right leg. Her stats are less consistent, but still healthy. She's getting a little extra breathing help via a small air tube, and already has a few signs of jaundice. Most of this stuff will fix itself, or with a little help, but she's a trooper.

We've had family with us ever since the start of our little debacle, and they've been instrumental in keeping us grounded and cared for. I know I'd have missed several meals if it hadn't been for my or my wife's folks.

My first full day as a father has been busy. Now that the twins are here I'm playing the part of tour-guide. Family members have to be escorted into the NICU three at a time, so I've been on my feet constantly. Does this make me second fiddle to kids who haven't learned the finer points of focusing their eyes yet? Absolutely. But that's fine. It means I also got to spend a lot of time with the kiddos.

For now the plan is simple: Be there to help the kids and my wife however they need it, and do my best to keep my kids on the path to come home, on the path to their potential, off the pole, and off police scanners. 

... Also off the rock

From here to Paternity

I've always liked kids. I always knew I'd have kids someday. I just don't know how to deal with them.

It's like music. I like it, I know about it and how it's made, but if you handed me a guitar and asked me to create a song my face would fill with fear as I slowly backed out of the room.

I used to volunteer to help throw monthly children's birthday parties at a Japanese single mother's home when I served in the Navy, but I usually stayed at a bit of a distance. Other guys would be roughhousing with a pile of kids while I served cake and cleaned up the wrapping paper.

A little bit about myself: I'm from Oregon, and the youngest son of the youngest daughter of a Catholic family. Which means I'm one of the youngest of my 20+ cousins, and have zero experience with small children.

In case you're curious what it's like to grown up in a Catholic family...

Today I'm 29, still in Oregon and working as a photojournalist. I've been married to my loving wife for two years, and I'd managed to push off growing our family for the same amount of time. I want kids, but our financial situation hasn't been stable until recently.

My wife (Let's call her Marlena) is a natural-born mother. She knew she wanted to be a teacher since she was in 1st grade, and has dedicated her adult life to learning the best ways to raise and support kids.  When we were dating she didn't want a few kids, she wanted a basketball team.

Before we married we negotiated our future family. I wanted 2-3 kids. There's nothing more humbling than a sibling, and nobody who will know you better, or infuriate you more, so I've always  known I wanted at least two. Much more than that just seems excessive. Don't let the expensive cameras or fancy press pass fool you, I know baristas that make more money than I do.

She agreed to settle for 4 kids total, but I still tell her she should have married a doctor if she wants that many.

She knows I can be apprehensive around kids, so I can only imagine what she was thinking when she told me she was pregnant 8 months ago...

~Welcome to my blog